Reflections and Poetry

Testosterone: a reflection

I think it is testosterone that is affecting me.

The difference between male and female is testosterone. 

There are a number of biological differences, and similarities, between men and women, but for the purpose of this reflection, I focus on testosterone:)

When my son comes home on weekends from boarding school, it is lovely to see him. We get on quite well, even though we’ve not got a lot of interests in common at the moment. He has handled the recent, untimely passing of his father with great maturity, resolve and has drawn closer to me. I am grateful for that. I have handled the death with dignity and confidence in the LORD too. We both are doing alright… 

BUT to my point: when my son comes home part of my mind goes into a muddle.

That muddled thinking often occurred when speaking to my husband too. I thought it was that I was a bit overwhelmed by Alan’s personal power, but I reconsider that now, as it’s happening with Jordan too…. I think it’s the testosterone!

I wonder if that is one way of understanding, “Your desire will be for your husband, And he shall rule over you”? (Genesis 3:16)

The major way this muddle manifests/ed itself is in my memory and my speech; when I wanted to explain something to my husband, I would forget aspects or not explain as thoroughly as I would with a female friend — or even a male friend. The strong emphasis on chronological logical sequencing was what Alan needed, and I was weak on that, depending somewhat more upon aesthetic communication. 

My son and I communicate quite well. But I find my memory of things I want to do or to talk about gets pushed into the background; I frustrate him because I don’t finish conversations, but I can’t finish conversations because he is impatient and I feel the pressure from that.

I think it is testosterone that is affecting me.

In my husband’s case, he preferred I explain things a certain way so that he could understand. With my son, he prefers I get on quickly and thoroughly. In both cases, they have a strong preference counter to my own style, and the pressure puts me in a muddle. Who they are in my life and the value I place upon my relationship with them is a psychological reason I might feel pressure. But I also suspect that pressure is fuelled in them by their testosterone and passed onto me.

I wonder: does anyone have a similar experience?

2 replies on “Testosterone: a reflection”

Sarah you are a great woman of God and in my own journey with the Lord I have seen him move very differently through different people including members of family. Gods creativity can manifest so differently through us all: prophets, teacher, pastors etc.
We tend to take for granted our own anointing but others see it differently. It is good to listen and acknowledge , is the word alive in that? I remember a time when mark & I were challenged by some believes my son shared with us and we chose to not interfere in the very different call of God he has on his life. God also moves quite differently in Mark’s life to mine, but we can hear Him in 1 another. Always remember ask God for your keys. The home is also a safe place for iron to sharpen iron. Dont let your widow hood be an elephant in your home share the love you have together and both take time for God to comfort you in your grief.

We are greatly blessed by being able to include Alan into our conversation. You are so right, we must forge ahead, and by GOD’s grace, we do. Yes indeed, GOD works in us each uniquely… He knows us intimately and what will touch us and move us forward. Praise GOD, He is a personal God. Thank you as always, for writing and sharing your insights.

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