For Mothers

Advising other Mums

I’ve been a mum for 18 years. And a step mum for over 30 years. That means I know a bit about being a mother. I may not know a lot, but I do know a little.

So, when I see a new mum of a young one distressed… both the child and the mum distressed I mean… it’s hard to know whether to say anything to help or not. 

I mean, I may have the best of intentions but is it my place to say anything?

I think, regarding advising other mums, depends totally upon my relationship with the other mum. Have I been invited to advise? Have I even been invited to hold the baby? It’s too easy to see a problem and want to help. It’s important not to meddle or make things worse by sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong.

But on the other hand, if I’m quite sure what I observe can be useful, it just might be a bit of advice or insight that’s helpful.

The most important thing is, can I sow love and encouragement? Or am I flaunting my opinion? Social media is full of opinion. Do I really need to offer mine?

Look inside first

Let’s examine our own hearts, to be sure we’re helpful, and then we might gently present our observations. Opinions: Nope! Observations: Maybe, but praying first… that the words we offer are life-giving and nurturing.

Mothers are fragile in some ways. We tend to feel vulnerable and want so much to help our children, no matter how much “experience” we have… don’t we? So let’s sow life, always. Let’s be the blessing our relationship with the other mum offers. And love, love, love. Then if there’s any time left, speak. Maybe. 

Proverbs 12:18 says, “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.” Surely if that perspective is good enough for Solomon, it’s good enough for me.