When we keep our eyes on Jesus
One of the deep lessons I learned in the weeks praying vehemently for Alan’s recovery was to keep my eyes on Jesus, and to ignore the storm that was raging.
Now as Alan has passed away, I am learning the importance of applying the same lessons as I work through the process of grieving.
Romans 12:2 says, “Be thou transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
How we think and perceive is at the very core of how we live, minister and overcome.
I had two really lousy days this week, then I remembered to focus my eyes, my attention on Jesus. In so doing, my soul is revived.
I cannot articulate all that is going on with me, as the wife of a lovely man who went “too soon” — from our perspective.
Gazing into the world
From my window earlier this week, I watched as an elderly man mowed the lawn of his even older relative. I thought, There he is, and Alan was only 62. I do not begrudge the longer life of another man. But it was hard at that moment not to wonder why Alan had to go so soon.
And yet, I come full circle, realising that Alan was ready. The LORD was ready. I was not ready but I must catch up.
I feel much of my married life, in so many ways, was catching up to Alan.
When we mourn, we keep our eyes on the Master. He will not leave, he will not forsake, and in time, he will even answer many of our questions. Some answers we will not receive until we meet him face to face. But in the meantime, we can watch, listen, read the Word, and actively wait for the answers to some of our questions. I find music really helpful; it lifts and carries me through.
And always we can hope that what seems dim now will become much clearer, in time. “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12)
Alan’s funeral will be held at 1pm on Monday 29th March. For those who want to view it as is it livestreamed: https://tmc-church.org.uk/ No password or permission required to view.
For those who want to view it later: https://tmc-church.org.uk/preacher/tun-alan/
I will post a link to the Order of Service on my Facebook page and also on this website.