“My grace is sufficient” He reminded me, as I prayed before going to visit my husband in hospital…. Here is a testimony of grace, which followed after.
I had asked the LORD, “Is there anything in particular you want me to say”, asking in advance because it is so hard to sense GOD’s presence in a hospital. “My grace is sufficient” was His response. And I knew also, I must pray for His presence to be with us as I visited.
The visit was short, because my hubby was weak and tired, partly because the doctors had given him a medicine that historically drains his blood pressure, medicine they think he needs (therefore they keep trying), which I can see he does not (because I and others like me have prayed the Lord’s protection against medicine he does not need).
I left the meeting and was full of emotion, primarily frustration at the blindness of the well-meaning, well-trained doctors. What precipitated was a 24 hour period without GOD’s grace, though it would take me overnight to even realise the grace had gone.
The despair I was experiencing in the day that followed the visit to hospital was new in this journey of my husband’s recovery. By nature an emotive person, for the last 2 months, I’d been filled with calm detachment, resolve, and determination. Some of these descriptions come from others who have observed me, some of my own recognition. But suffice to say, I gradually realised my patience, a gift from GOD (Galatians 5:22), had been spent and I was needing His grace so that I would not become hardened toward this situation nor to anyone.
I was tested.
Half way through the next day, a doctor rang to tell me they were lifting the medication that so badly reduces the blood pressure (Praise the LORD) and were taking a test of an internal organ — one the LORD had confirmed was healed.
After the phone call, the oppression which had hounded me since the night before began to lift. At the 24 hour mark, I realised His grace had returned and I’d been on a journey of discovery: discovery of what it is like without His grace; what it is like for those who lack relationship with the Creator of the Universe; what it is like when I am not bathed in His anointing; the distance from my past, when I didn’t know as much of His grace as I do now — how hard hearted or judgmental I can become when I am not in His grace.
Yes, I was under attack from the enemy. But I was also being tested: how would I behave without the grace of GOD? Would I fall back into old habits or had my character changed? Was I tempted by my emotions or was I grounded in love for Him and others?
I think I passed the test, although of course that is for the LORD to decide. There were moments in that 24 hours when I had options: I could do what I deemed best, or wait; I could follow my will, or give way to the LORD.
Hallelujah! I think I did not fail. Even without His evident presence, I think I had sufficient grace. I did not lose my temper or give way to despair. Truly, His grace is all any of us needs.
So, when His grace is present, trust Him; and if His grace has lifted, trust Him even more, for it will return. His grace is sufficient to carry us through. Truly, we can “do all things through Christ who gives [us] strength”. (Philippians 4:13)