For Mothers

For Mothers: No, not everything

“Mama I want…”

One of the best lessons we can teach our dear children is

that they can’t have everything they want.

“No, not everything you want Darling.”

If our children learn that, life will be easier for them — less painful, less shocking, more peaceful. When they learn they can’t have everything they want, they learn disappointment, they learn compromise, they learn reality. It’s healthy.

Life is full of rich joy and also disappointment

Although it is important to develop a positive, “can do” attitude, we also need to learn to roll with the punches that life brings. We strive for excellence but in the striving forward, we lose some of the races we run. If we lose every race, we get discouraged and give up. But if we win every one, we get prideful and conceited. Win some/lose some is the reality of life, and learning this helps us to negotiate surprises in life, both good and bad.

What if our child doesn’t learn s/he can’t have everything?

They may find life difficult to cope with if they don’t know life has ups and downs.

They may find themselves behaving “like a bully” to get what they want because they don’t know how to accept “no” for an answer.

They may become deceitful — in order to achieve their ends. Certainly, they will be more selfish if they don’t understand the idea of compromise.

Goal setting: good and not-so-good

People who don’t know they can’t have everything set unachievable goals. Their ‘reach can exceed their grasp’ because they don’t know limitations exist. Ambition is good in order to keep us striving to improve. But it can also be soul destroying if our goals are complete fantasy. Teaching our child to accept “yes” and “no” will help them to navigate their own lives and help them to attain their ambitions with hard work and steadfast faith in themselves.

People need people

The person who has learned s/he will have disappointments from time to time will embrace life, yet will also know a contented life is not based upon achievement but on mutual admiration — one person to another…

Life is full of love when we learn to share, to accede to someone else’s preferences from time to time while still standing up for our own when it is vitally important. 

Life is rich and worth living when we share with others and build relationships based on mutual respect and trust. 

Life if full of rich relationship when we learn compromise, the give-and-take of life.

Disappointment is an valuable experience

Teaching a child that sometimes s/he can’t have what s/he “really wants” can be disappointing, but disappointment lasts for a moment. The lesson of overcoming disappointment and moving over the next hurdle will last a lifetime.