coping with change – Larus Press

Separation

For mothers, separation from our children can be stressful. We want our children to be safe and to learn independence as well. These two circumstances are important and healthy, but sometimes they seem contradictory. The days are gone when a young child can simply make his own way to his friend’s house or she can play in the local playground on her own.

It’s sad to think children aren’t given the opportunities to stretch their independence as they used to, because it simply isn’t safe for them to be on their own. And yet, as they grow, our children need to learn how to be independent from parents.

And then they reach the pinnacle: leaving home! When the time comes for the first job or college or university some distance away, our young ladies and young men must strike out on their own.

How much can we expect them to keep in touch (or not)? And as mums, how much should we brave and bolster ourselves ahead of time, to prepare ourselves for the inevitable change we’re sure to meet the first time our offspring returns home after some weeks or months away?

This is where I’m at:

My son, as I’ve said in previous posts, is off to university in a couple this autumn.

I want the best — the very best for him. I’m bracing myself for little communication, less information, and possibly a huge personality alteration.

I guess it’s good I’m aware of these possible changes, so that I can prepare myself and give room to my son to explore and express himself.

But I feel shaky at how on earth I’m going to feel when I see him after he’s experienced freshers’ week, campus life, physical freedom from external boundaries. My son is going off. Who will come back home again?

These are huge questions

I have no answers but I know I will manage.

How shall I cope? I am making two specific choices:

I choose to trust my son, with the decisions he will make and
I choose to trust what we, his mum and dad, have sown well and wisely into him over his life, so that he has the wisdom to make good decisions

I will have no control over his choices and as he’s an adult, nor should I. But therefore, the best thing I can do, for my own sanity and out of respect for him, is to trust him.

Separation may not be easy but when the time comes, trust and respect are the keys to help us to cope.

I awoke this morning from a dream. The dream was a rendering of the chaotic. The message received, “there is a storm coming”.

The last time I had a dream like that, we had a family row that day following the dream.

Today I descended from my bedroom, looked at my emails to discover, my web host server company is closing down its service.

Storm? I’m prepared, or at least I have an attitude of preparedness. “God is in charge,” I wrote to the host of the website, “and we will seek and discover what God has in store for us all.”

So, change is coming. I don’t know the form it will take. Perhaps I’ll be posting at Soaring Post for the last time. Or perhaps I’ll find another way within the next two weeks to write a newsletter and get it out to you.

The storm as I see it, is not weather-related (although tell that to folks in Houston, The Gulf of Mexico, and most recently, Ireland), not even finance-related, but attitudinal.

If I have the attitude of hope and trust in the LORD’s sovereignty, I rest assured, what will come will be for the best.

If I have the attitude of self-determination, I may panic or hurry or fear.

If I have the attitude that I must follow God’s lead and know that step-by-step, He will reveal His strategy, I will be in the eye of the storm, not bearing the brunt of it.

So, I may cease to be an entity at http://laruspress.com or perhaps I can switch things quickly, carry over at an effective cost, and continue on.

Either way, I am open to work hard, pray hard and to follow. Either way, I simply want to be in my Father’s will.

When storms come, we must fight to overcome. But we must also surrender to the Master who allows the storm and trust He has a purpose for us in it.

Jesus calmed the storm,

“On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.” Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, “Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!” (Mark 4:35-41)

When he calmed the storm, he revealed God’s authority over the storm. We who have Jesus can do the same, whether it is a physical storm or a situational one.

But Jesus only did the will of his Father,

Then Jesus said to them, “When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and that I do nothing of Myself; but as My Father taught Me, I speak these things.” (John 8:28)

When we surrender our will to the Father’s, and trust in His authority, we can, like Jesus, perform His will. And we have perfect peace.

So I officially am now surrendering the fate of my website and this newsletter to Him. I am announcing to Him (as if He didn’t already know) that the service provider for my website is having to shut down… which will be a heartache to the provider…

And so I pray that all those who are hosted by him, will have peace and will find God’s way forward. And I ask that God continues to watch over the work of all parties involved and that we will better serve Jesus through this storm.

Amen.

(Thanks to BibleGateway for the quick referencing)