The Life is in the Blood:
Visions from the LORD, prayers of others
There were so many images of life ahead for Alan, there was so much encouragement from a vast network of believers who were praying, there was so much hope and confidence in the LORD, as I navigated through the time of Alan’s unconsciousness.
The steadfast prayers of the saints, some of whom I know — and many who got wind of Alan’s illness through that network and were praying through — these were such a huge support which kept me going. In fact, those who prayed for Alan have gone on to pray for us as a family since, and I find it absolutely remarkable how well we are doing in spite of Alan’s passing away.
I am aware of GOD’s presence and know the prayers of His faithful saints are making such an impact on an otherwise horrible situation.
On several occasions, two parallel paths presented themselves to me, and I always chose the one of life.
Dream: dressed in black
One morning I awoke from a dream in which I was wearing black — the quintessential funeral clothing. I prayed against anything that could be deemed an obvious interpretation.
I shared it with a prayer network as well, a group of fine prayerful folk, who also prayed against an outcome to Alan’s hospitalisation where I would be wearing black.
Although fleeting, two different paths that would lead from Alan’s intubation: one of death and one of life, came to mind from time to time. I don’t remember anything specific, just that there were two possibilities. I dismissed one.
I always chose to observe the thought, path, expectation that Alan would lived. I thought that was how the LORD was calling me to focus. In hindsight, perhaps he was letting me know it might go either way.
Release to the LORD
Three weeks after Alan regained consciousness, with steady improvement in fits and starts, and doctors at last expecting him to live, Alan was exhausted and asking when he could leave ICU.
I remember as I drove home from hospital the day Alan had stomach pain, the same day Dr M had begun the information sessions to give Alan context for his current situation (as mentioned in the last blog post), I remember distinctly passing the shops I have passed many times, and I said,
“LORD, you said Alan would recover, and I believe You. I turn it all over to you. Whatever outcome you decide, I surrender to…”
Hours later I would get a call to say Alan’s condition had worsened; the stomach pain had been a marker indicating some complications had arisen. Hours after that, I was invited in to hospital; moments after arrival, I was told Alan was not going to survive the night.
We must surrender
In all things, we must trust GOD. Did I give up on Alan? No! Did I give up on the power of GOD? No. What I did was give GOD the freedom to do as He knew best.
After Alan’s passing, one dear friend said the LORD had told him that… “Alan was tired and just wanted to come home.”
I believe that if my release on that drive home the day before Alan died had any effect, it was to release the LORD to give Alan an answer to his prayer — to be set free from exhaustion and pain.
2 replies on “Life is in the Blood: ICU – third phase of Covid p3”
Appreciate your open and honest sharing Sarah of the difficult internal battles you had to cope with during Alan’s last few days, and how you finally yield to obedience or consciously, made a choice to surrender him and your future to God
We trust we can learn from your own personal struggles when we are confronted with the reality of the possible loss of a loved one in our own lives, and be willing to submit to God’s will ; let go our loved ones and still be willing to trust and love Him without getting angry and bitter though feel very sad and in grief , and without indefinite despair and hopelessness
May you continue to trust and know His faithfulness and love for you
In bitterness and hopelessness there is no life. But in Jesus, hope and love are everlasting life.