When I composed this, I was on a flight. A child was screaming — I felt for him but also for his parents and the others surrounding. Fortunately for me, I was well in front and the crying was a relatively faint sound.
But the child’s crying made me think: What do we do when our children are afraid or inconsolable?
We keep calm and carry on…
Although this is a British saying about persevering in difficult or awkward times, it is pertinent far and wide, I think.
When fear or doubt seems to cripple our children, we must not fear ourselves, but must seek to overcome any urge to panic or worry.
Once, as I was driving through an unknown part of London with my teenage son, trying to navigate but also to avoid any congestion or emission charges, I kept saying to myself, “Oh, I don’t know… which way?” I was mumbling, as I would if I were on my own…
He said, “Mum, I need you to be confident, and to know where you’re going, or at least to act like it.”
His father had died only weeks before, and here he was, managing well with that, but out came a truth, plain and clear: ‘I need my mother to know what she’s doing because I certainly don’t and I can’t handle the responsibility or the fear of the unknown.’
Wow!
Fortunately, my son was old enough and confident enough to express what was exactly on his mind: He needed me to be calm and confident.
I think that speaks volumes for all of our children: There are times to show our vulnerability, but there as also times to be strong and to carry on, no matter what.
What to do when fear or danger sweep across the path of your child?
We must remain calm and self possessed, walk on water, and trust we will get through, and stand on the reality that this moment will pass.
We can warn our children of danger, and teach and equip them as to how to cope. We can work to warn them in advance so they are prepared. But most of all, if calamity should come, we must bear up and encourage them to do the same. We are their role models. We are their teachers. And so, we must be prepared so they can be prepared for those hopefully rare, but unavoidable circumstances that will test their metal — and ours.
Every blessing,
Sarah