Have you ever kept a journal?
I grew up in Canada. I don’t know if “Dear Diary” was ever a thing in Britain, but it was certainly a big deal when I was growing up. Canada and the United States were full of little girls pouring their hearts out, their deepest secrets, to their confident diary. We see it in teen films, when the little sister or the big brother grabs the diary and humiliation ensues if the sibling decides to embarrass or tattle on the writer.
Do you know the value of journaling?
I kept a diary. I started when I was nine, and wrote quite consistently until I was about 14. Although when I started I wrote about events, like a time table journal, it quickly morphed into talking about my feelings: about this boy, or that girl, about my deepest feelings as a child.
Eventually, I stopped, exchanging journalling with sharing with friends.
But I re-started as an adult, when I realised that writing is therapeutic. Stream of consciousness is a great exercise for writers. But it is also of benefit to anyone psychologically. To write is, I suppose, similar to creating a work of fine art or a piece of music: it is an expression of our moods, our thought processes, taking the emotions out of us and putting them beyond us to inspect and perhaps to overcome.
I recommend journaling
Spending a little time alone with our thoughts is a very helpful way of letting go of stress. It also helps us to process our feelings.
Journaling — and then looking back over it some months later — will reveal profound moments we might otherwise not have realised.
It can help us to make decisions
I’m contemplating moving. I’d really like to but it hasn’t happened yet. Every now and then, if I write something about my thoughts, it can spur me on or reveal where that is on the priority list. The decision-making process can be made less intense: I write about it, then I put down the pen and leave it . It can be set aside, allowed to rumble around in the back of my mind, rather than have it distract me day-to-day. When I do return to focusing on it, a week or a month later, I can read what I wrote and think, “That’s no longer important” or “Did I really think that?” Or “Oh, yes, I’d still really like to do that…”
Straight Road! — an active example
There’s a town I’d like to move to…
One day I will move house. By keeping a journal I can see how far I’ve come in my thinking… where I am now on that particular decision journey in my mind: What I want, Where I want to go, When … or even If.
Why does this matter as a parent?
The better we know ourselves, the more aware we are of our own hearts, the more alert we can be to our children.
Keeping a journal helps us to stay in touch with ourselves, allows us to have our own dreams, and makes us aware of our own feelings. Then, when a child of ours has a need, we’re better equipped to encourage him/her to express him/herself. We’re better equipped to listen to our children because we’ve taken time to listen to ourselves. And we’re more likely to be relaxed, resting assured that the thoughts and concerns we have are written down and can be picked up again when necessary, rather than becoming a distraction or forgotten entirely.
A journal helps us to listen to ourselves when life gives us little time to give ourselves the attention we need. And a journal helps us to understand ourselves so we have a greater capacity to understand our children, and to teach them how to reflect and understand themselves too.