The best way to help our children, sometimes, is not to help them at all.
I’ve been a cheerleader — but sometimes, I think, too eager!
Building blocks
When he was tiny and was playing with blocks, my son got stuck — unable to fit the shape in the right hole. It was the right hole but he couldn’t quite get it to fit. I helped.
I regret that!
Why? Because he could have worked it out if we’d both been a little bit more patient.
Patience is more important in us, so that our children have the room to struggle.
And the struggle builds the patience in them.
Struggle
When my son was learning to read, it was hard for him. His teacher was surprised since everything to that point had been quite easy for him. I thought he was messing; I could have been more patient.
I did get out clay and make the letter shapes in 3D. He started to get the hang of things then.
We would learn years later that he was a bit dyslexic.
Trust
I’ve always been glad I’d helped him with his letters. But wish I’d shown more trust, with a more patient attitude. I wanted him to do well.
But in hindsight, it would have been better, I think, if I’d trusted his struggle was in earnest. It could have been a more relaxed journey.
It’s not always easy to know when to help and when to lie low.
My son is now an adult. I try not to interfere. I think I achieve that in some measure.
I aim to stay connected, but without interfering… too much.
What have you found to be particularly helpful for your child(ren)?