Separation
For mothers, separation from our children can be stressful. We want our children to be safe and to learn independence as well. These two circumstances are important and healthy, but sometimes they seem contradictory. The days are gone when a young child can simply make his own way to his friend’s house or she can play in the local playground on her own.
It’s sad to think children aren’t given the opportunities to stretch their independence as they used to, because it simply isn’t safe for them to be on their own. And yet, as they grow, our children need to learn how to be independent from parents.
Summer Camp
I remember — long ago when I was a little girl in Canada — I went every summer to “summer camp”. It was a wonderful time, where I learned some of my social skills while riding horses and swimming for two or three weeks every year. Such camps still exist but they aren’t part of culture as they were when I was growing up.
And I remember writing home while I was at camp, something I imagine my parents really enjoyed receiving. It’s a pity that letter writing is a lost art now, being replaced by texting, emailing and quick, free phone calls.
Whether for a short or a long time away
How much can we expect our children to keep in touch when we are apart from them?
And for the bigger moments, in split families with separate holidays, or the inevitable leaving home, how much should we mums brave and bolster ourselves ahead of time, to prepare ourselves for the inevitable change when our sons and daughters leave home for work, marriage or university/college?
I’m learning, slowly but surely, to leave most of the initiation of contact to my son. That way our conversations are truly valued on both sides.
Leaving Home
The leaving home of our children is a big deal to us and to them. It’s an exciting time and potentially. quite an emotional time. It’s part of life, and may we discover new things about ourselves and our family relationships as we experience it. I hope this summer, we are able to give our children and ourselves an opportunity for healthy separation, so we can re-discover the value of our relationships as we give our children an opportunity to grow in their independence.