Yours or theirs?
Romance in life is exciting, fun, and emotionally invigorating. It’s also a little bit ‘dangerous’ because romance makes us vulnerable. Life becomes unpredictable.
When we are married
Romance between spouses is encouraging for the children, giving them a sense of stability and security, and also teaching them how to handle romance themselves.
When we are single
Children watching a parent becoming involved romantically with someone outside the family can have a profound effect. They may feel comfort and delight for the parent, if they like, trust the new person introduced into their lives. They may also feel threatened, whether or not they “get on” with the new person.
When our children become romantically inclined toward someone
It is wonderful when our child shares with us their romantic inclinations. That they share with us indicates a level of trust toward us that is a reward for our dedication and love we’ve lavished on them. It’s important to listen but to say little, unless asked for our opinion. And I’ve learned, my opinion needs to be given cautiously if at all, and with respect to recognise it may be ignored.
Romance is loaded
Romance is a part of life. It is full of… hope, attention, aspiration, acceptance, grace and of course, love. It is powerful, one of the most powerful forces in our lives, and so it demands respect.
When we move into the realm of romance, let us keep our focus as much on our children as on the romance itself. That way, we will be available to our children just as much as we’ve always been, whether they are moving down the path of romance or we are.
Our relationship with our children needs to be steadfast, so that we — and they — remain secure in the knowledge that our love bond is certain, and that our bond of love is as vital as any romantic bond that may be blooming.