Our children will always be our children… Mothers do not give up motherhood, do we?
And yet, be must let go. Is this a contradiction? Not at all.
We must let our children become adults. It’s a gradual process and is age and culture related. But inevitably, we must entrust them to themselves, respect their choices and hope and pray all their choices are safe and sensible. To build in our children self respect, we must pay respect to our children.
Respecting our offspring
We must let go, and we must respect our offspring in order for them to grow into responsible adults, having self respect, motivation and dignity.
That’s my opinion.
The place to start is by showing them respect. How can we do that? Give them room to make decisions and to discover the results of those decisions so they can learn. The more they learn when they are at home, the better they can adjust when they are on their own in the big wide world.
I also believe our children need our protection. Some decisions they may not be ready for and are not age appropriate. Some decisions will have life-changing consequences, and so those decisions are better to be left to them when they have more life experience.
As we show them respect, give them room, let them make choices, they will discover their own ways of thinking. And they will begin to apply what they’ve been shown by us, in due course.
There is an expression: Teach a child the way he should go, and when he grows up he will not depart from it.
When we give them guidance, and good role modelling for sound behaviour and decision-making, then they too will practice the same as they grow. Yes, they will express themselves differently from how we may like them too, yes they may exhibit their freedom from us. And yet, they will return to what works, when they’ve tested the world.
Letting go can be a challenge for us. It is for them too. But as we gently and gradually give them room to go on their own journey, they will move forward with confidence and hope. That is my belief.
How do we let go?
We keep giving them away, like a father gives the bride away to the groom: respectfully, hopefully, and with love. We keep surrendering our desires for them and leave them to build upon their onw. We keep from interfering in matters that do not require an adult’s interference.
There’s a lot to unpack.
What do you think? I’d love to know your thoughts…