In this fractious world, teaching our children to love one another is a challenge… and also, a very good idea. Learning to be a referee can help our children to get along with others and sow peace within our society.
The children of today are the leaders of the future.
Learning through adversity
A key principle of life is that we learn through failure (more than we learn through success). Taking this further, we learn through disappointment, challenge and adversity. Challenge faced well teaches us to be resilient; conflict gives us the opportunity to learn conflict resolution. So, when we face a challenge, we can recognise it as an opportunity to learn.
As this is true for us as adults, so it is true for our children. Teaching them to “get along” is a valuable lesson. Learning to “agree to disagree” will enable our children to be peacemakers, as well as enabling them to cope with, and even to get along with, those who disagree with them.
Encouragement: helping our children
When adversity comes, let’s encourage our children to look at the other person’s point of view, without squashing their own.
When argument arises, teach them to stand for their own principles but recognise others will have their own.
Teach our children to debate with words, not with insults or fists. Hug them when they’ve been disappointed or frustrated. Respect their disappointment, without feeding their anger.
And more than anything else, let’s help our children to love others, regardless of whether they agree with them or even like them. Respect and love are keys to teaching leadership, peacemaking, and good will toward others.
Practical help to our children
When they experience conflict with siblings, friends, talk it through one-to-one with you. I wish I’d done more of this with my own. Instead of getting impatient or frustrated, help them — guide them to think well of themselves and the other person first. Ask questions. Encourage them to describe how they feel. Then, guide them to put themselves in the other person’s shoes. Try to find the funny side with them… how they might have made light of the situation instead of getting cross with their brother, sister, or friend. Give them ideas for a better way of responding the next time they’re annoyed, disappointed or angry with a peer.
Love wins every time.
What is love? It is kindness toward others.
What is respect? It is accepting differences.
Let’s teach our children to love and respect others as we would like them to be respected and loved by others.
Peace, peace. And Hope for Peace is round the corner in this challenging time in our society.