The green-eyed monster, jealousy is always to be avoided isn’t it?
Can jealousy ever be a good thing?
The maternal instinct is useful in safeguarding our children. So with regard to relationships, while it is generally important to ensure our children develop healthy friendships outside the family, sometimes we might appear jealous for the attention between our child and someone else.
If we are jealous of romantic love for our child, I’d say this is usually bad news. If we want to keep our relationship with our child close and healthy, we need to accept — even embrace the person they choose to be with.
However, sometimes, there are relationships that bring on a sort of jealousy or protection, because the other person entering the circle is dangerous. If the friendship is a mismatch of ages, with the other person being significantly older than our child, that’s a bit of a red flag isn’t it?
Or if there is an obsession our child carries for the other person, perhaps idolising or compromising their own values for them, there’s another red flag.
Not all relationships are healthy
Sometimes we need to let our son or daughter “learn through experience” about relationships. BUT they don’t need to experience abuse — ever.
So if jealousy is something you’re experiencing, can you examine it? Is it something you need to deal with privately? Or is the jealousy a response triggered by your parental warning system put on high alert?
Most times, jealousy is something you need to get over. But sometimes, it’s a tool — a useful gift to help you to protect your family.