Sometimes, we mothers can feel like a failure. Well, if you think you’re a failure, think again. If you feel like a failure, I have 2 things to say…
- Do not let your feelings dictate your thoughts or actions. I can explore more on this in a moment, but overall, it’s important not to live by our feelings as they are fleeting and sometimes even misleading.
And
2. If you think you’ve failed, recall times when you’ve succeeded as a parent. There will be times. Focus on those! That’ll bring a smile to your lips, and a sense of perspective on your present.
And
3. If you’ve made a mistake, say “sorry” and try to make amends by making good on the damage done.
Expanding on feelings as decision-makers
Our feelings can be a trigger to our conscience, to awaken us to our weaknesses and mistakes. But feelings in themselves, are transitory and unreliable on the whole. The proof is that when our feelings calm down, our perspective often/usually changes. Often, with negative feelings expressed, we regret our words and actions. Even when expressions follow from a feeling of intense elation, out to that can come regret; sometimes our actions don’t dignify us…. Our feelings are unreliable decision-makers.
Failure… and Success
How do we measure our success? Or our failure? By outcome, yes?
Isn’t it true that if we see good things come as a result of our decisions, behaviour or actions, we sense we’ve been “successful”. And if bad things result, we consider we’ve done badly.
But what if we learn from our mistakes? Then it isn’t all bad, is it?
And if we improve relationship because of good choices, then that’s a great outcome isn’t it?
Therefore, if we make a mistake and say “sorry”, we make amends and there is a good outcome. Yes?
So, no matter how we slice it, mistakes — while not desirable or our aim — can bring about a good outcome.
So, let’s forge ahead
So, let’s aim to do our best, take responsibility for our mistakes, and move forward.
The best outcome is where relationship prospers: with our kids, our spouses, our colleagues, and our friends.
We’ll never be perfect, but we can aim for our best… and that’s our goal. Not only that, when we make mistakes, and are accountable for them, we teach our children to do the same.
And growing our children into the best human beings they can be is what we, as mums, is simply what we are all about!