Recently, I was sharing with someone how, in our parenting, we hold the hand of small children to guide and protect them.
When I feel little
I am sure I wanted someone to hold my hand when I was little. In fact recently, I asked a friend to hold my hand when I thought for certain I was going to get some startling news! She did (thank you!) and I (did get that news), which was not bad news; it was just… startling.
Being able to grip someone’s hand was really helpful in the firsts moments I had to process the information.
What is it like to be a child?
When everyone towers over you, don’t we feel small?
It must be awesome to be a child: the world is full of wonder and is exciting.
But it’s also big and unknown and so, to some at least, it’ll be a little bit overwhelming, perhaps a little bit scary at least sometimes.
So how can we take the scary out of being a child?
If a child feels safe, protected, fear won’t come in. Conceal your own fear so they don’t pick up on it. Imagine, if you’re scared, how much more vulnerable will they feel?
When my son was young
He had no fear! I remember him not holding my hand, and running down a grassy hill with strangers everywhere! I wasn’t concerned he’d fall. Rather, I was concerned he’d be picked up by someone in the crowd and taken off. I couldn’t keep up. I was scared!
But he was fine, and after he’d finished laughing at my calling after him, and him being faster than I was, he eventually did let me catch up to him.
He was safe and I was relieved.
We need to hide our fear but show our concern
On another occasion, when my little boy was about 2, he was standing next to me on the side of the road, and watching a leaf blowing in the breeze.
Then a car came and the leaf went splat! My little boys was taken aback.
I remember I used it as a teaching moment: “If you play in the road and a car comes, that’s what would happen.”
You know, he wasn’t scared. But nor did he ever run into the road!
Teaching moments
Little anecdotes are tokens I can share to help us all remember to invite our children, even after they know how to cross the road, to “hold my hand!”
It’s comforting in a big wide world. It’s reassuring in a fast environment (for him and me both). It’s a kind of intimate safeguarding to keep them close and safe.
Blessings,
Sarah