I have an older child. While he’s grown-up and independent (and thankfully, a responsible person), I’m learning it doesn’t mean I can’t help from time to time. In fact, he seems to welcome it.
But the balance is to help without interfering
What have I found that to mean, practically speaking?
I have found that I can offer advice so long as I don’t expect him to take it. And so long as I don’t expect him to do as I would do. And so long as I don’t tell him what to do.
Decision making, as we know, is a learned skill. And independence, as we know, is a process of discovering who we are, based upon our responses to our experiences.
So, if we tell our older offspring what to do, we deny them the learning opportunity.
But sometimes the situation is beyond learning…
Sometimes, I can help where there is no other way. Sometimes, our adult children need references, or support from our learned experience. Sometimes, we have connections or experience that they cannot possibly have but that they can prosper from. Sometimes we are useful, necessary, and the only way — not simply the easy or the best way but the only way — that they can have breakthrough.
We live in a very busy world, a world with networking and connections. Sometimes, our adult children are going to need the connections we can offer. And I think we should, so long as we’re not imposing our will upon them.
What have we got in our hands?
Whilst we don’t want to deny our children the opportunity to learn, grow, experience what life has to offer, there will be times when a helping hand is what they need.
Let’s be wise to give them space, but also ready to offer them help when they really need it!
Every blessing, Mums!!