We need a level of healthy competition in childhood, to give us a broad base of experience, which prepares us for the adult world.
Peanuts and Charlie Brown
When I was a little girl, I read Charlie Brown cartoons and watched, when occasionally, there would be a tv special. Poor Charlie Brown! He was always the last one picked for a team. Always, he was the one to poke fun at. How many times did Lucy say in earnest, ‘I won’t pull the football away’ when he ran to kick it. But every time she did, and every time Charlie Brown ended up flat on his back. Poor Charlie Brown.
If he were a real person, I hope he grew into a fabulous human being. He may well have been the author’s childhood identity. If that’s the case then yes, “Charlie Brown” grew up to be a highly creative and incredibly talented person, who gave children dubbed “losers” hope and dignity. He gave us characters who were heartwarming, children of personal integrity and kindness, naivety and goodness (except maybe Lucy) . He gave all readers and watchers an insight into what makes humanity better — having more people with good character in the world.
How does a look at Charlie Brown and Peanuts relate to healthy competition?
Because in the era of Charlie Brown and Peanuts, there was competition: grades, sports, everything was compared: one child’s success to another’s failure. AND NO ONE DIED!
Seriously, we live in a world now where, if there is competition, it is seen by so many of us as dangerous — potentially life shattering for the self esteem of a child.
Hogwash!
Self Esteem and Human Dignity
I don’t want to offend, but truly I believe that, while there is such a thing as toxic competition — there is also a form of healthy (and necessary) competition that teaches us to work hard, focus our efforts, and learn how to win well… and how to lose well too.
Losing can be incredibly frustrating for children, but it’s an opportunity for them to learn resilience and perseverance. Winning can be fun, but it is also a chance for children to learn modesty and humility and grace towards others.
Let’s teach our children well
We need, as parents, to be supportive of our children no matter what level they are working at. We love them whether they win or lose, but let us help them to win well, and to lose well too. That takes practice and so I hope we can all help our children to engage in healthy competition from time to time, so they gain experience and will develop all the skills they need for life.
In the grown-up world, not everybody gets the job, not everybody gets the promotion, not everybody wins all the time!
So, can we play in a way that gives our children balanced opportunity — to do their best and sometimes, to strive for success which is marked by winning?
There is that timeless adage that speaks well for all of us… Ultimately, there is a lot of truth in this:
“It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.”