Call me old fashioned but I happen to think marriage is a good idea and sex is a bad idea before that.
And I also think we need to discuss bonding with other people as a part of sex — because it happens biologically whether we like to think it happens emotionally or not.
And so, this short post is about talking about sex to our children.
There are few things I’ve gleaned from others for each of us to consider. It isn’t a manual or an instruction booklet, but I’m simply offering “food for thought”.
Suggested pointers
- Wait until the child asks. They’ll ask when they’re ready.
- Answer the question asked.
- Ideally, we answer honestly and briefly. Too much detail may go over their heads or simply be too much for them to handle emotionally.
- Be transparent but not too personal. In other words, don’t hide truths that need to be known, but don’t unravel your personal life with your children.
- Stick to facts about heterosexual sex. There is plenty of emphasis on alternative lifestyles. If they can be taught the basics of procreation then they can ask, if they’re interested, about alternatives.
Sex is beautiful and in the right context, a healthy blessing. But freedom in all its forms, requires more responsibility and more compassionate understanding between the two parties. Those physically mature enough to have sex are very unlikely to be emotionally mature enough to cope with the bonding or the complications that sex can bring.
Let’s help our kids to grow into healthy relationships, simple to complex, in the fullness of time.